Every one has asked that sweet thing in your life the most dreaded question. The one that makes the hair stand up on the back of your neck…(drumroll)
“How many people have you been with?”
When I was a younger woman I use to entertain this query, begrudgingly fudging the numbers not merely because I didn’t want to be seen as some kind of harlot but because there was just way too much math involved! No woman has that number just hanging out in the back of her head (speaking for myself of course)
I’d need a calculator because as a golden rule you are allowed to delete anything that happened in Vegas or on vacation, anyone with no real boy/girlfriend potential ( i.e – the cute super of your building) all one night stands, all FWB, anyone from Craigslist or Myspace and anyone that you could never in a million years admit to.
The older you get, remembering your conquests feels more like taking the SAT’s all over again and who needs that kind of pressure? Is this a relationship or trigonometry?
With all the passwords and access codes we have to remember today who has the mental capacity to trot down memory lane. I can’t remember to pack my lunch half the time and you want me to remember everyone I ever slept with?
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!
Bringing the heat back into your relationship is as easy is going down to your local drug store and thank goodness. There was a time when going to buy a little something naughty from the slap and tickle was a covert mission. Your attire was nondescript and If you were lucky you had a girl friend to travel with you as a look out. Novelty stores were sometimes situated in the sketchiest part of town and littered with creepy looking guys standing in the “animal” section. The unspoken rule of avoiding eye contact is often respected but the judgment still lingers.
With any luck you found what you were looking for quickly and didn’t have to circle the store like some kind of lost lamb. Once you found your item of choice you head to check out, prayed the guy behind the counter didn’t make needless conversation, grabbed your nondescript brown paper bag purchase and hot tailed it out door. But gone are those days for the every day gal. Now your basic “Feel Good” tool kit can be found at your local CVS or Walgreens just isles away from the milk and the orange juice.
Companies like Trojan have expanded their brand adding low grade toys and massage oils to accompany their condom and lube products all in the effort of keeping us “Turnt up” and turned on, so next time you’re on a late night ice cream run, pick up a little something fun.
“Flicking the toy on, it came to life. She loved that sound; it means that an orgasm was in her near future” – An excerpt from Good to the Last Drop
“Flicking the toy on, it came to life. She loves that sound; it meant that an orgasm was in her near future.” “Frustrated” -Good to the Last Drop
I cant speak for other woman but without a bit of daily “down there” action dare I say, I begin to feel the effects of “Feminine Hysteria”. Classified as an actual illness back in the Victorian age but later thought to be medical mumbo-jumbo, I think those European doctors were on to something. Every gal needs a little “get right” from time to time just to ward off a case of bitchyness.
Vibrators and sex toys can be found every where, from your hole in the wall sex shop to your local neighborhood drug store and thank heavens because we “women” are so much nicer to the world at large (and ourselves) when we’ve had the big “O”.
Researchers at Rutgers University asked women to self -stimulate while lying in a MRI machine and raise their hands every time they had an orgasm. Some girls have all the luck! Where was I when they were signing gals up for this?
Science has proven that when an orgasm is achieved in a woman it affects up to 30 different parts of her brain triggering feelings of reward, satisfaction, love, and emotion among other things. Its all kinds of good, like a full body work out for your brain!
Get to stimulating ladies, your brain will thank you!
“I know most of you can relate to the golden opportunity I had before me so I said fuck it!.”
“Overtime ” -Good to the Last Drop
Just imagine, your walking into your local café, resturant or bistro and walk right into your ultimate male crush i.e; an X boyfriend, co-worker, the President of the United States( sorry Michelle) or Morris Chestnut ( a girl can dream cant she?) and he’s feeling you. You guys flirt over Chi lattés and the chemistry is off the chain. He wants to take things further and your lady parts are jumping for joy but just then you realize…. You’ve got the ugly, end of the month panties on. You know the ones with the flowers and the stretched out elastic. Sure you can play it off and run to the restroom, take them bad boys off and shove them deep into your purse with him being none the wiser but why commit to mad dashes when you can be fierce!As women of the world sometimes shit happens and none of it is planned. Surely you can’t turn down great opportunities because you were unprepared or make a practice of shoving your skivvies in the bottom of your purse. Those kinds of things have a way of resurfacing at the most inopportune times (sorry ma!) So In the words of rapper Fabolous “If you stay ready, you ain’t got to get ready”.
Here are 5 tips on being ready for that hot sex life you have always wanted when that golden opportunity falls into your lap.
- Illuminate the Granny Panties
I know that as girls we have those days when bloomers just feel like a hug from grandma and the thought of having your ass cheeks out seems utterly ridicules. Lucky for you, retailers on all ends of the spectrum make something “attractive” to meet our fickle needs.
Is a guy going to kick you out the bed because your brassiere doesn’t match your panties, NO but they will remember and if they are going to be remembering things why not make it a good one!
If you’re anything like me, a dry spell comes around every so often and the only person I’m having regular sex with is myself! But don’t let that stop you from doing your pretty girl maintenance. I know you’ve heard the theory behind “dress for success” or ‘Dress the part” well, same thing goes here.. “Dress for Sex”
Being sexy is a state of mind and it starts with you. Being in a relationship has nothing to do with it. When you feel sexy others will notice and gravitate towards that positive energy.
- Put on your Sasha- Fierce
When you are insecure about your body in can create an air of hesitation when that golden opportunity comes around so get your self to a realistic place physically and mentally where you can feel free to strut your stuff in all your god given glory and love it!
Discretion will preserve you, understanding will keep you …Proverbs
There was a time when casually getting high was referred to as smoking cannabis and having a drink or two. Now days opium, hallucinogens, barbiturates, cocaine, amphetamines and tranquilizers have some how been added to the category and are now considered a social norm.
Somewhat understandingly it is not hard to see how some could see the hippies smoking marijuana, having a few drinks while partying as not being such a bad thing. If you are too young to remember just as i am, a better example is Willie Nelson or Snoop Dog.
What I can’t seem to figure out is on a society of people of above average IQ’s, why it is more evident when looking at the crackheads or heroin addicts on the corner, that they are mirroring image of your future if you use drugs?
Am I saying that everyone who users drugs will end up like that, no! What i am saying is that there are an estimated 30 million people in America addicted to these addictive drugs, what makes you think that you are smart enough to try them and not become addicted?
When a relationship is fresh and new you simply can’t get enough of one another. There is no limits to the amount of exploration in and out of the bed room but fast forward a few years, add jobs , responsibilities and you can even throw in baby or two for good measure and it can feel like the love train has come to a screeching halt.
Does your once hot and steamy love life can feel like you have been doing the same old dance for far too long and its time to spice it up but you just don’t know where to start? Well don’t fret; all it takes is a little effective communication.
If you feel shy or uncomfortable at the thought of introducing something new into the bedroom, it’s ok to error on the side of caution. Go to your local adult toy store and purchase a few toys and movies that reflect your desires (keep the receipt!). When you and your lover have managed to slow the world down just long enough for some alone time, tell him/her you want to show him something you bought, hand them the bag of goodies and listen to the reaction.
If the next thing you see is a smile from ear to ear then you know its a go!. Next stop freakyville! If there are any signs of resistance pull out the receipt and tell your lover that you can return the items together for something that you would both enjoy.
No Boyfriend… No Problem
Let’s face it, sometimes you just don’t want to be in relationship, they can be tiring and all consuming. If you have been part of a couple that ended on a sour note, heading heart first into another relationship can seem worse than losing the World Series to the Boston Red Socks (Sorry Yankees). But, there’s no need to worry, No Boyfriend/ Girlfriend…. No Problem!
“Casual sex”, “Hump buddy”, “Hommie lover friend” or “Friends with Benefits”, it goes by many names but no matter what you call it, if done right it can be a win-win. Casual sex is not for everyone, some people are just relationship Faithfull’s and could never fathom having a little light fling and although it’s true that too much of anything is never good, we can’t overlook the fact that there are just some times in your life when you are simply not ready, willing or able to commit yourself to relationship and a little humping around between two consenting adults is just the thing to get you threw that period in your life. Sometimes a “Homie Lover Friend” is just what the doctor ordered.
Who doesn’t love a little hit it and quit it with no strings attached every now and again. You know that late- night booty call that comes over under a cloak of darkness and leaves like a thief in the night. There are no expectations and no demands, just some good old fashion fun (safe) sex
Casual sex as a life style may work for some but I caution that in the long run it can get pretty lonely, if done right; it can lift your mood, relieve some stress and put the spring back in your step.